


I Hate Myself for Loving You

by KottaKitty



Series: The K-Science Rock Club [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Fluff, Herman owns a club, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confession, M/M, Newt does the lighing, Sexual Tension, dancing drinks and singing makes everything better, ive combined two of my fave things and i am very happy with the outcome, rock au, rock of ages AU, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:32:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3486659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KottaKitty/pseuds/KottaKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You would expect the owner of the one of the biggest rock and roll joints in the whole of America to be some kind of care free rock fan who loved nothing more than to party. But the owner in question is the complete opposite. His name is Herman Gottlieb, and even he couldn’t tell you how he came to own The K-Science Club.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate Myself for Loving You

**Author's Note:**

> I really love Rock of Ages, and recently I've gotten in to Pacific Rim. Put them together and you get this fic! I'm genuinely so pleased with this and its also the longest one shot I've ever written, which is great! I hope you enjoy it, please leave a comment or kudos at the end if you do :)

You would expect the owner of the one of the biggest rock and roll joints in the whole of America to be some kind of care free rock fan who loved nothing more than to party. But the owner in question is the complete opposite. His name is Herman Gottlieb, and even he couldn’t tell you how he came to own The K-Science Club.

K-Science was an almost legendary establishment for two reasons. All of the strange and mysterious drinks you could buy and get drunk on after one shot (the most powerful beverage being the Almighty Kaiju Blue), and of course the fact that any rock band couldn’t truly be considered a rock band until they had played there. Cherno Alpha (the “Russian Rockers”) had powered to stardom after just one gig at K-Science. Gypsy Danger are making their way up in the world now as well, after playing two killer back to back shows at the club.

Every night was a sell out and drinks were sold non-stop but despite the clubs huge success recently it had fallen on hard times. Somehow they just weren’t making enough money to support the staff and keep the building standing. 

Herman sat at his desk in a private room above the club; the quiet thump of the music could still be heard even from this secluded area. He rubbed his forehead groggily, letting a stressed sigh pass through his lips as he looked at the stack of unpaid bills in front of him. How they’d managed to spend this much money in just one month shocked him too no end, but the money all adds up. Five broken amps, fifteen shattered chairs and forty-eight broken or missing glasses! That’s not the worst of it either; about 2 weeks ago all of the lights in the ceiling came down during a show, along with the tech manager Newton. Herman had instantly offered to pay the medical bills even though working for him doesn’t include free health care; he had always just really liked Newt. All together the club had over spent thousands and Herman had no idea how they were going to keep up the business now. The thought of losing the club almost made him sick to his stomach. The thin German man had never been considered cool or admired by anyone, but because he owned The K-Science Club it was like he was a God to all the rockers out there. 

Also, if he lost the club, then what reason would Newton have for keeping in contact with him?

Herman stared at the bills for a long time, thinking of any way they could make the money back quickly, but for some reason nothing came to mind. He groaned loudly and rested his head on the bill covered desk, closing his eyes for a moment to clear his thoughts. As much as he loved the loud happy atmosphere that filled the club every evening, he wished that right now it would just stop.

Eventually the sound started to fade and there was a moment where it all went quiet, but Herman most certainly did not fall asleep. No way, he’d never do something as improper as that.

He was startled from his definitely-not-asleep state by the loud bang of his office door opening and an overly awake for three o’clock in the morning Newt bursting through.

“Hey man, the clubs closing for the night and- Whoa! Sleeping on the job? I knew you couldn’t just do work up here!” Newt laughed as he walked over to the desk and leant in front of it, grinning happily at his boss.

“I was not sleeping Newton, just looking closely at a few of these letters and-“ he was cut off by Newt pulling a bill off his forehead which had gotten stuck when he had rested on the desk. A quite blush of embarrassment spread across Germans cheeks before he noticed that Newt was reading the bill. He hadn’t wanted anyone to know about the money troubles. He reached out and tried to snatch the paper back but the shorter man jerked his hand away quickly “Newton please, that is confidential information.”

“You didn’t tell me we were in the shit…” He sounded so betrayed “I let you pay for my hospital bill! Man, that’s not fair! Look I’ll pay you back then we’ll be okay wont we?” Newt started at Herman with a serious face, which really didn’t suit the usual happy-go-lucky man.

“No, no Newton I can’t let you do that.” Herman replied nervously, Newts uncharacteristic expression was strangely unsettling “You work so hard here. Plus we’d still have so much to pay back anyway.” He pinched the bride of his nose, trying to press back a stress induced headache.

Newt put the bill down shaking his head knowing that Herman was right. He made his way round to the secret alcohol stash that he knew his boss kept in his office and pulled out a bottle of Gin with two small glasses. He poured them out slowly as he chatted away softly “You’re so stressed dude, that’s not healthy. But, I can’t really talk when it comes to heath, what with my totally hard-core rock and roll life style and all.”

“You occasionally change the lights and introduce new acts Newton, that’s hardly ‘hard-core’ as you put it.” Herman said sarcastically with a faint smile appearing on his lips.

The shorter man sauntered over with the two glasses and handed one too Herman “Well I think I’m totally hard-core and that’s all that matters.” He smirked as he took a swig of the drink.

Herman simply rolled his eyes in mind amusement as he took a small sip of his drink. He wasn’t the biggest fan of alcohol but if Newt offered him some he’d gladly take it. For a while they just sat there, Herman in his chair and Newt perched on the edge of the desk. They felt comfortable in each other’s company, but they’d never tell each other that.

“So uh-“ Newt began uncertainly “Is the club gunna be alright?” he sounded frightened in a way. This club had been his life for so long now; as soon as he got the job he dedicated his life to this place.

If the club was gone, then what reason would Herman have for keeping in contact with him?

Herman sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair “I just don’t know Newton. Things just aren’t going our way, are they?” he smiled sadly, the tone of his voice sounding so pitiful.

The shorter man bit his lip and stood up from the corner of the desk. Newton couldn’t solve their money problems, that just wasn’t his field. Maths and accounting had always been what Herman was good at. Newt had always been better that the more technical side of things (almost like the biology of rock). He slowly walked over to Herman’s collection of vinyl records, and chose out an album straight away then put it on to play. He spun around dramatically and tapped his foot in time with the song and raised a hand in the air as if he was about to start a massive concert. Newt began to belt the start of the song, dancing as best he could back over to Herman’s desk “Midnight, getting’ uptight, where are you? You said you’d meet me, now its quarter to two.” A grin spread across Newts cheeks as Herman got up from his chair.

“I know I'm hanging but I'm still wanting you.” Herman sang a lot quieter than Newt and with more of a smirk than a grin, but it had been ages since he’d even attempted to have fun. After owning a Rock club for such a long time you get to know a lot of songs and eventually love a few of them. Joan Jett had always been one of Herman’s weaknesses.

Newton spun around, gyrating his pelvis still singing the song as passionately as he could “Hey Jack, it's a fact they're talkin' in town!” he jumped around so his back was facing Herman and looked at the taller man from over his shoulder “I turn my back and you're messin' around!” although he really did enjoy this song and was slightly tipsy from the night he was mainly over acting the song just to try and cheer Herman up.

He heard Herman laugh and then pick up his cane and pretended to use it as a microphone as he sung the next lyric “I'm not really jealous, don't like looking like a clown”.

Newt chuckled as we went over to Herman and slung an arm around the taller man’s waist swaying them both as he sung the lead up to the chorus in his almost completely tone-deaf voice “I think of you every night and day, you took my heart then you took my pride away!”

They sung the rest of the song together, forgetting about the stress of the clubs money problems and just enjoying the moment they were in right now. Herman eventually broke and started yelling the lyrics with Newt instead of trying to be more reserved about his enjoyment. 

It was good to let loose every now and again. 

When the song ended and the final note sounded thought the office the pair both collapsed on a nearby sofa that Herman kept just in case a certain employee (Newton) need a nap before a nights work. They breathed heavily as they leaned on each other; it took a lot of energy to rock. The sound of their breathing was all that filled the room for a long time but eventually Newt started laughing. At what? He didn’t know. Perhaps it was simply because he was so content with his life that all he could do was laugh. Laughter, being as infectious as it is, soon got to Herman as well and they both just ended up giggling with one and other in the quite room.

The pair sighed in unison, calming down from their tiny rock concert. Herman was the first to break the silence after that. He turned to face Newt “I’ve still got a bloody headache though.”

The smaller man turned to reply, meeting Herman’s eyes “Sorry about that man, but hey, that was some great stress relief wasn’t it?” 

“I suppose. But the fact of our money troubles still remains.” Herman frowned, still maintaining eye contact with Newts seemingly perfect green eyes.

“We’ll work something out man. People love this place; if it shut there would be a riot.” Newt rested his head on Herman’s shoulder “Heck, I’d be part of that riot.” It sounded like a joke but they bother knew it was true.

“As would I.” Herman rested his chin on Newts head and closed his eyes momentarily. Taking in the smell of his friend and just appreciating this time he had to be close to him.

“You know… that song is so true.” Newton said, something sounding off about his voice. He usually sounded so confident, but right now he sounded shy. “I hate myself for loving you.” He gulped and sat up, avoiding eye contact. “I wanna walk but I run back to you” He mumbled, then continued, getting louder as he spoke “I don’t know if it just the alcohol or the adrenalin from what we just did talking or not but I don’t know what I’m feeling right now and I hate myself for loving you is playing over and over in my head and-“

“Stop Newton.” Herman cut him off abruptly; he could tell that Newt was begging to show signs of one of his panic attacks.

“Right dude. Uh- sorry sorry, I’ll just go get us some more drinks or whatever.” He went to get up but was stopped as Herman took a hold of his arm and pulled him back down. “Look, forget I said anything okay?” he laughed awkwardly trying to brush off his sudden love confession.

“I hate myself for loving you too Newton.” Was all Herman said, sounding as vulnerable as Newt had before. “I guess I always have.” He chuckled lightly under his breath.

Newt sat up quickly “Seriously? Because you better not be trying to make one of your lame jokes man. ‘Cause I’ve never been more serious about anything before.” He re-established their eye contact, looking for any signs of lying in the taller man’s brown pupils.

Herman when to say something, but stopped himself, he decided on a far more effective way to put across his feelings. He raised his hand and gently cupped Newts face, bringing him in for a small soft kiss. The smaller man seemed to melt in to Herman’s kiss and mumbled something like “God I fucking love you” once their lips had parted. Herman muttered a quick “I love you so much you idiot.” In reply before quickly re-connecting their lips more passionately this time. 

Years of pent up tensions came out all at once as they suddenly realised all the time they’d wasted. For now, the club could wait simply because they have each other.

**Author's Note:**

> The song I used is "I Hate Myself for Loving You" By Joan Jett! You can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpNw7jYkbVc
> 
> I have plans to write more in this series, so watch this space if you liked it!
> 
> Thank you for reading!!


End file.
